Have you ever dated someone who has lavishly showered you with all the attention, lovestruck feelings, grand gestures and future promises but then all of a sudden turned sour and cold with the intention of leaving you? Are you spending hours completely aloof in a dark room, crying endlessly and scratching your head over what wrong you actually did? Do not blame yourself; chances are that you have been a victim of a dangerously brutal online dating trend ‘love bombing’!
There was ghosting, breadcrumbing and catfishing but the most recent and probably the most dangerous of all trend in online dating is love bombing. It is basically an attempt of influencing another person (the naïve one) with overblown displays of affection and attention.
Love bombing is a manipulative tactic that involves showing lots of affection and attention right at the start of the relationship with the sole intention of making the other person completely dependent on you. This usually consists of flirtatious interaction, staring into each other’s eyes for long periods, romantic conversations and long talks about the ‘future together’. In this tactic, the manipulative person tries to control another person emotionally with ‘love bombs’ from day one. The rush of a new romance and the things progressing quickly can prove to be so powerful for the victim that it literally pushes aside any feelings of doubt. And this way the victim is left with no room to assess if the other person is genuine or they are being manipulated, eventually falling into the trap of the predator, who is often a sociopath or a narcissist.
After the initial affection has made you feel all secure and loved up, the manipulator then start revealing their true colors, knowing that they have tricked you successfully. They then go ahead and stop messaging the victim, stop prioritizing them and go back on promises. And if the victim raises a voice, they just point out all the good things they did in the beginning of the relationship and blackmail them emotionally.
Love bombing is all about control and this is probably the worst part of it. The predator uses it as a tool to keep their partner obligated to them. By suppressing affection, they make you feel guilty. They can make you feel like the worst person in the world when you want to do normal things such as meeting your friends or doing something without them. And since they have been a devoted partner in the past, it makes you doubt the idea of them being a problem, giving them the upper hand. All this leaves the victim frustrated and emotionally tortured.
If you are someone who has always been in search of one true love, you might have realized this by now that it is damn difficult. Getting to meet someone who loves you as much as you love them is the hardest thing in the world. Even in the generation of Tinder and plenty of other dating apps, finding your perfect match is not at all easy.
Modern dating is really hard. You need to be prepared enough to let down several times before you find that one right person. Unfortunately, this includes being stood up, ghosted, breadcrumbed, catfished and now love bombed. Being told by someone that you are perfect definitely sounds great but you should always be aware of your partner’s intentions. If you really feel that you are being controlled and manipulated, just put a halt to it. After all, love is supposed to enhance your life and not harm it. Right?